What does your present look like?
Listen to yourself talking to your friends about your typical “I ate this,” “I really shouldn’t eat that,” “I feel so…” body conversations.
If you are always looking to a certain weight or measurement that you think will make you finally “just right,” then your life—where you are and who you are right now—is just a means to an end. You’ll be missing out on the you that you are at this moment, and frankly, the goal weight or whatever it is you have in mind will likely make you only fleetingly happy. You can become addicted to seeking.
When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Instead of, “My arms are sooo saggy…(sigh),” work out your arms, or ask someone who knows how to help you to give you advice on how to tone your arms. When you’re consistently working out your arm muscles, you’ll feel the satisfying burn and know that you’re doing something about it instead of standing idly by, making yourself a victim. Some people truly are defined by their constant search for a better body…and they might even be afraid of what life would be like without the constant searching. Before you raise your eyebrows, think for a second. Does that describe you?
This is not the same thing as being a consistent exerciser. Someone who works out regularly is usually just striving to be the healthiest he or she can be. The person who is never happy, though, or who is finally her goal weight but then finds that that’s just not enough weight lost….that could be a person who defines herself by her body image.
It’s a huge thing to say in one sentence, but here it is: We must learn to live in the present, and stop blaming the past and looking to the future. Take a good look at who you are right now, and get to know this you. It’s important to have goals, but don’t miss out on everything you have and are right now because you’re so busy theorizing about what the past has done to you, or making plans for the new you you will be when you finally attain your goal weight (or salary or relationship…).
Am I saying to stop worrying about losing weight if you clearly have weight to lose? Not at all. I’m just saying to accept (and enjoy!) who you are right now, keep working toward being better, and stop complaining! Get up and make something of this day!